On liquor, when there’s water more pleasant to the taste;
The water is much cheaper, and much more healthy too,
And never makes a man a fool—which liquors often do.
It never yet caused people to quarrel and to fight,
Or come home intoxicated at twelve o’clock at night.
Cold water never caused man in the gutter to be found,
And never, as I know of, to feel upward for the ground.
Now if you only hasten our pledge to come and sign,
To leave off drinking brandy, rum, cider, gin, and wine,
You can not help but prosper in your business through life,