Accumulate ideas: yet despise Reputed wisdom,—folly oft is wise; And wisdom, if the mass be not kept cool, Mothers, and is the father of, a fool.
Be virtuous and be happy: good! but, stop,— They sow the seed who never reap the crop; For virtue oft, which men so much exact, Like ancient china, is more precious crack'd; And happiness, forsooth, not over-nice, Sometimes enjoys a pot and pipe with vice.
Get rich; 'tis well for mind and body's health: But never, never be the slave of wealth. The gain of riches is the spirit's loss; And, oh! my son, remember gold is dross.
Be honest,—not as fools or bigots rave; Your honest man is often half a knave. Let Justice guide you; but still bear in mind The goddess may mislead,—for she is blind.
Hygeia's dictates let me now declare, For health must be your most especial care. Rise early, but beware the matin chill; 'Tis fresh, but fatal,—healthy, but may kill: Nor leave thy couch, nor break the bonds of sleep, Till morning's beams from out the ocean leap; Lest, crawling, groping, stumbling on the stair, Your head descend, your heels aspire in air; As down the flight your body swiftly steals, Useless to know your head has sav'd your heels, Prone on your face with dislocated neck, You find that slumber which you sought to check.
Early to bed, but not till nature call. Be moderate at meals, nor drink at all, Save when with friends you toast the faithful lass, And raise the sparkling, oft-repeated glass; Then, graver cares and worthless scruples sunk, Drink with the best, my son,—but ne'er get drunk.
Bathe in cold water: cautious, and yet bold, Dive,—but the water must not be too cold: And still take care lest, as you gaily swim, Cramp should distort and dislocate each limb. When such the case, howe'er thy fancy urge, Postpone the bracing pastime, and emerge. Dangers on land as well as water teem, But now the bank is safer than the stream.
Say you should chance be ill (for, after all, Men are but men on this terrestrial ball); Should sickness with her frightful train invade, Lose not a moment, but apply for aid.— Yet fancy oft, imagined symptoms sees, And nervous megrim simulates disease.— Lo! at our call—the cry of coward fear— A chemist and a cane-sucker appear: The one, tough roots from earth's intestines dug, Pounds with strong arm, dissolves the nauseous drug; The other, gazing with a portentous air, Surveys the foolish tongue that call'd him there; To dulcet tones that breath deceptive calm, Your cash expires in his diurnal palm, And, sick of physic you were forced to swill, Long-labell'd phials indicate the bill.
As learning's bridge progresses arch by arch, So men, by gradual intellectual march, From savages to citizens advance.— Then gentlemen are taught to fence and dance; Whilst gay professors, with imposing show, Present the violin, and hand the bow.
Dance gracefully, and move with perfect ease, Nor bend, nor keep inflexible, the knees; Crawl not, nor with your head the ceiling touch— That were to move too little; this too much.