Whose aim in this life was to be of some use;

Now I always act on the opposite plan,

And endeavour to take the least trouble I can:

I sing at no concert, I dance at no ball,—

I'm a gentleman quite, and of no use at all!

When invited to dinner, I'd much rather starve,

Than attempt for some hungry half-dozen to carve;

And folks do exist, who, when dishes are nice,

Won't scruple to send their plates up to you twice:

All vainly for sauces on me do they call,—