He ended amid prolonged applause, and walked proudly to a conspicuous perch in the sunshine.
By this time there was much excitement among the audience, who all signified a desire to speak at once. While the chairman was busy quieting them with most vigorous barks, a monkey with much agility made his way over the heads of the audience, and leaped to the platform, where he was ready to make his profoundest bows to the assembly the moment quiet reigned.
“You may consider me an alien, since I hail from a far country, yet I am truly American—for even South America reveres the Stars and Stripes,” he said, and his words were applauded by the very ones who had but a moment previous frowned at his audacity.
“I hold myself the superior of mankind since many of their scientists assert that the human race are but highly developed monkeys. To be sure, a few haughty fellows have lately declared that monkeys are but the offspring of degenerate men, but we monkeys resent such assertions as uncalled-for insults. Why, it is bad enough to have to endure the thought that possibly—mind you, I say possibly, not probably—possibly men have descended from our race. There is no monkey but what lives up to the best of his God-given instincts, whereas, on the other hand, there is no man that does at all times the very best that he knows. Therefore, by all the rules of logic, the monkey is superior to the man, and must be thus considered by all fair-minded judges.
“This, however, is but a prologue to my more serious remarks. I have only been presenting my credentials to this court.
“May I now proceed to disclose my plan for calling the attention of ungrateful men to the benefactions we are daily bestowing upon them?” He paused and bowed respectfully to the chairman and then to the audience.
A thunder of applause greeted his proposition, and the hall resounded with cries of “Good! good!” “Go on!” “Three cheers for Brother Monkey.”
When quiet was restored, the monkey continued rapidly:
“Since my time is necessarily spent in intimate association with men, I have taken note of many of their schemes for self-aggrandizement. The most popular at the present time, is the Fair, where everyone seeks to outdo his neighbor and to proclaim his own superiority to the whole world, while he exhibits his own abilities and his own genius by a display of his productions.
“Now, what I propose is this: Let us secure a convenient enclosure, and let each family of birds and beasts and reptiles erect a booth in which to display the gifts which they are daily bestowing upon mankind. Perhaps in this way the hearts of men will be drawn to honor us, and they will—after the ruling passion of men—seek to advance their own interests by favoring ours. Does my plan meet with approval? If so, your humble servant feels highly honored.” He placed his hand upon his heart and bowed deeply to his audience, then, with customary dexterity, returned to his place as he had come, while the hall resounded with prolonged applause.