"Nor I; 'pon my solemn davit, I'm as ignorant as a child of what my quarrel is about; all that I know is, that my beautiful companion seemed to hate the sight of him."
"Then I trust you won't refuse me your assistance, since you have insults of your own to chastise. I expect his message every moment. My name is Captain Smith."
"And mine, Nicholas Clam, No. 4, Waterloo Place, Welling"—
"Then, gentlemen," said Major M'Toddy, lifting his hat, "I'm a lucky man—fortunatus nimium, as a body may say, to find you both together; for I am charged with an invitation to you from my friend Mr Chatterton."
"Oh! he wants to make it up, does he, and asks us to dinner? No. I won't go," said Mr Clam.
"Then you know the alternative, I suppose!" said the Major.
"To pay for my own dinner at the inn," replied Mr Clam; "of course I know that."
The Major threw a glance at Mr Clam, which he would probably have taken the trouble to translate into two or three languages, although it was sufficiently intelligible without any explanations, but he had no time. He turned to Captain Smith, and said:—
"I'm very sorry, Captain Smith, to make your acquaintance on such a disagreeable occasion. I've heard so much of you from mutual friends, that I feel as if I had known you myself, quod facit per alium facit per se—I'm Major M'Toddy of this regiment."
"I have long wished to know you, Major, and I hope even this matter need not extend any of its bitterness to us."