"Truly, we live in strange times, neighbour," said Scrapegrace. "But then the Hill of Difficulty?"
"Is no difficulty after all," interrupted Stagman; "we pass right through the centre of it by a tunnel in two minutes, so that you need never know there was a hill there. The strata are all clay and sandstone, exceeding well fitted for boring."
"Then the Valley of Humiliation, and the road which leads there-through?" asked Scapegrace.
"We go slap across it in the twinkling of a bedpost, by a handsome viaduct of thirty arches on the skew principle," said Stagman.
"Lo, you now!" said Scapegrace, marvelling—"Surely, however, the road is rugged and hilly?"
"Thou wouldst say, the gradients are bad; not so, there is none worse than one in the hundred—quite as good as the Caledonian."
"I know not that road," said Scrapegrace.
"So much the better for thee," answered Stagman gravely.
"But, neighbour, how do you contrive to carry your road through other men's grounds?" said Scapegrace.
"We promise to share the profits with them," said Stagman, "and so keep them quiet; or put them on the Provisional Committee, with power to audit their own accounts. Sometimes, no doubt, we are put to our shifts for a time, as was the case with Squire Despair of Doubting Castle, who opposed us on the standing orders, and threatened to throw us out in committee; but, as it ended in our buying Doubting Castle at his own price, and paying him handsomely for intersectional damage besides, he soon withdrew his opposition, and is now an active promoter of the line. Indeed, I know not any one who can give us further trouble, except it be old Pope, who says the road will ruin his villa, and be the death of any of his bulls that get upon the line; but as we know that he is as poor as a church rat, and will never show face in the committee, we mind him not, and, in truth, I have no doubt the committee will find the preamble proved."