"Gentlemen, I feel very much obliged to you for the trouble you have taken in this matter, which, let me observe, is personal to myself. You may rely upon it, I can maintain my own position, and will try to do so, provided that position is tenable. I am resolved to maintain Martin in his rights whenever these rights are ascertained; and to do to Peter exactly what shall seem most proper under the present perplexing circumstances. In the mean time, you had better return to your families, and look after their education; and I have the honour to wish you a good morning."
This, with a little variation, was the answer given to all the addresses; and I wish you had seen the faces of the deputations when they found themselves thus soused over, as it were, with a bucket of cold water! The most extraordinary circumstance of all was, that the Juggler seemed to think that he had done a very clever thing, and produced a masterpiece; for he stood the whole while the answer was being read with his finger at his mouth, and a leer upon his face, prying into the countenances of the honest people, like a magpie scrutinising a marrow-bone. This was all the satisfaction which the men of Bullockshatch received at that time in return for their trouble; and had they not known perfectly well who was at the bottom of the answers, it is highly probable that few more addresses would have found their way to the mansion-house. Indeed, many folks are of opinion that the Juggler would have liked nothing better than a total stoppage of these addresses, and that the answers were purposely framed to put an end to them. In the midst of all this commotion, who should appear in Bullockshatch but our old friend Hippopotamus, whom Peter had appointed arch-superintendent of Smithfield. Little he cared for the Squire, or for any one else in the world, except his master Peter; and as to the Juggler, he considered that he had him entirely under his thumb, on account of certain transactions which had previously taken place between them. So he too set himself down to write and publish a letter, which was exceedingly humble and vain-glorious, (the two qualities being more nearly allied than many people suppose,) but withal sarcastical; and you may be sure that he did not spare either the Juggler or Mat-o'-the-Mint, whom he flatly accused of being privy to the designs of Peter. By this time a perfect mania for writing letters had seized the whole population of Bullockshatch. The newspapers contained nothing else but long columns of epistles; and even Mat-o'-the-Mint could not resist trying his hand at composition. It seems that some gentleman had thought it worth his while to inquire whether there was really any truth in the reports which were currently circulated, and Matthew replied as follows:—
"Sir,—If I were at liberty to tell you what I could tell you, you would know more than you do at present. But it is unnecessary to remark that confidential communications are to be considered as things strictly private until they are divulged; and in a matter connected with the interests of Esquire Bull, I must be permitted to maintain that reserve which is not incongruous with an explicit declaration of the truth. Further, I would suggest that the fallibility of Peter having been impugned, renders the point at issue still more dubious. Hoping that this explanation will prove satisfactory, I remain, &c.
(Signed) "Mat-o'-the-Mint."
And this was absolutely published in the papers as an entire vindication of Matthew!
Hippopotamus, however, did not care a rush either for addresses or epistles. He was perfectly convinced in his mind that so long as the Squire's household remained without change, he had nothing earthly to fear; and, accordingly, he snapped his fingers and laughed at the whole opposition. He had brought over with him from foreign parts such a collection of tapestry, brocades, images, pyxes, censers, and gilded sheep-hooks, as utterly eclipsed the glory of poor Augustine's paraphernalia, and these he took occasion to display with all the pride and satisfaction possible. Then he issued addresses to the people of Bullockshatch, congratulating them on their emancipation from the thraldom of Martin, and comparing them to a brood of goslings shadowed by the infallible pinions of Peter. He kept altogether out of sight hair-shirts, flagellations, incremations, holocausts, and such other spiritual stimulants; but promised them any amount of pardons, indulgences, and whitewashing. Some of his friends and followers went even further. Among these was a certain Father Ignition, who had taken a fancy to dress himself in serge with a rope round his waist, and to walk barefooted about the streets. This cleanly creature devised and promulgated a plan, by means of which he engaged, under the penalty of washing himself in the case of failure, to bring round every mother's son in Bullockshatch to Peter's fold and obedience. He proposed that a stout strapping country wench, of approved principles, from the farm on the other side of the pond, should be smuggled into each family on the Squire's estate, as laundry maid, scullion, or to take charge of the nursery. These hussies were to act as general spies, reporting all that passed in the household to him, Father Ignition; and were, moreover, to pervert the children, conveying them secretly to Peter's schools, and stuffing them with Roman toffy; and to get as intimate as possible with the young gentlemen, especially such as might have been inclined to Augustine's persuasion. In this way, the morality of which he held to be unquestionable, Father Ignition volunteered to raise a large crop of converts, to be ready, like asparagus, in the spring.
In this position stood matters in Bullockshatch towards the expiry of the holidays, during which no business was ever transacted in the household. You shall learn anon what took place after the servants were re-assembled; and I promise you, that you will hear something fit to make your hair stand on end. But these things are too important to be narrated at the end of a chapter.