“What did you do that for?”
“Sure, you towld me to throw it out, sir.”
“Go out of this, you thick-headed villain,” said the squire, throwing his boots at Andy’s head; whereupon Andy retreated, and, like all stupid people, thought himself a very ill-used person.
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ANDY OPENED
A BOTTLE OF SODA AT THE DINNER
Andy was soon the laughing-stock of the household. When, for example, he first saw silver forks he declared that “he had never seen a silver spoon split that way before.” When told to “cut the cord” of a soda-water bottle on one occasion when the squire was entertaining a number of guests at dinner, he “did as he was desired.”
He happened at that time to hold the bottle on the level with the candles that shed light over the festive board from a large silver branch, and the moment he made the incision, bang went the bottle of soda, knocking out two of the lights with the projected cork, which struck the squire himself in the eye at the foot of the table; while the hostess, at the head, had a cold bath down her back. Andy, when he saw the soda-water jumping out of the bottle, held it from him at arm’s length, at every fizz it made, exclaiming: “Ow! Ow! Ow!” and at last, when the bottle was empty, he roared out: “Oh, oh, it’s all gone!”
Great was the commotion. Few could resist laughter, except the ladies, who all looked at their gowns, not liking the mixture of satin and soda-water. The extinguished candles were relighted, the squire got his eyes open again, and the next time he perceived the butler sufficiently near to speak to him, he said, in a low and hurried tone of deep anger, while he knit his brow:
“Send that fellow out of the room.” Suspended from indoor service, Andy was not long before he distinguished himself out of doors in such a way as to involve his master in a coil of trouble, and, incidentally, to retard the good fortune that came to himself in the end.
THE SQUIRE SENDS ANDY TO THE
POST-OFFICE FOR A LETTER
The squire said to him one day: