A recruiting officer says soldiers make good husbands because all they want is plenty to eat and beans once a week. Hm! And we imagined beans were something to eat.
A Good Excuse
Flooterpush gazed sadly upon Jane Emily the handmaiden.
“Jane Emily,” said he, severely pointing to a half-empty bottle of the fluid which cheers and occasionally inebriates, “somebody’s been at this whiskey.”
“Well, I’ve never touched your whiskey,” retorted the girl.
“Are you sure, Jane Emily?”
“Sure! O’ course I’m sure! Why, the blessed cork wouldn’t come out!”