How about this one? “Here’s to the little doggy that met a little tree. The little tree said: ‘Come, purp, have one on me.’ The little purp replied, as gentle as a mouse, ‘No, thank you, little treelet, I’ve had one on the house.’”

* * *

Dear Skipper—What’s the difference between old fashioned and new fashioned kisses?—Movie Maid.

About five minutes.

* * *

Dear Captain of the Aft—I see where you are taking a stand for personal liberty. Still, wouldn’t you be willing to admit that rum is your foe?—Al K. Hall.

I can’t help admitting, Al, that I’m disgusted with the way the coward Demon has gone into hiding.

* * *

Dear Kernel Bill—What is meant by the expression: “bones of contention?”—Willie Wringlenut.