My coal dealer.
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Dear Captain Billy—What is a husband?—Will B. Schmellie.
Husbands are very useful things to have about the house. Caught young they make useful pets and can be taught to do a number of tricks. Some husbands are domesticated and stay at home in the evenings. I knew one who used to spend every evening at home. He suffered with gout. Others stay out late and then, having good friends, they get carried straight in. The duty of a husband is to touch the cash register and look pleasant, and so he spent his time trying to live round a seven by six family on a two by three salary. Very few husbands ever live any longer than is absolutely necessary.
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dEAR WhiZ bAng Bil—my name is OLE. My brother GUS he go away 7 yeres ago to work in Minnesoty milkking cows. Ay skol lak to know if your hired man is my brother GUS, as you SaY in yure magazeen that your hired man GUS has strong feet.—Ole Skolstad.
No, Ole, my hired man is not your brother. He says that all hired men have a bad odor about their pedals, due, he says, to the brand of snuff they snoose.
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Dear Skipper Bill—Do you like Popcorn Balls?—Sig. R. Liter.
I don’t know; I never was to one.