Whether you have done anything or not, she always has you on the “mess detail.” She makes her “counter attacks” in the department stores, and she knows how to “charge.”
She is your “Commanding Officer,” and you are her “Supply Officer.”
In the game the fiercest fight is always to come. Wait until the “infantry” arrives. Instead of “shouldering arms,” you shoulder the baby. On the battlefields, shells may screech and scream, but they have nothing on the kid. You get your “walking papers” every night. This is the only “hike” you take.
In war, you sign up for four years. There is no such clause as that in your wedding certificate. You can get exemption from war on account of marriage, but you can’t get exempt from marriage on account of war.
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One outraged pulpit orator states that when the average society girl enters the ballroom in these depraved times she has on only four garments, but we take it for granted he didn’t count shoes and stockings in making up his estimate.
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Now one of our most eminent medical scientists announces that hiccoughs may be stopped immediately by placing one’s index finger on the patient’s fifth curvicular nerve and pressing hard, but we must find out definitely where the fifth curvicular nerve is before trying this simple remedy on the next hiccoughing girl friend we happen to be with.
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