An optimist is a member of the bartenders’ union who is still paying dues.
There are some married women who would like to play football providing there weren’t any goal posts.
A boxer who fights his battles in the ring instead of in the columns of the newspapers is a sufficient attraction these days to merit considerable attention.
A young woman tries to please man. When she gets old she tries to please God.
It’s a long way from Los Angeles to Palm Beach but the styles in bathing suits of the Mack Sennett queens and the dames of high society seem about the same.
Electric lights were never made for courting. In the days of the gas jet a fellow could turn down the light a little at a time. Now he has to snap off the electricity all at once and take a chance.
There may be a good many arguments against the restoration of the good old four per cent beer, but right now we can’t think of a single one.
There were more divorces, more murders, more burglaries in New York in 1920 than in 1919. Hooray for prohibition!
As we remember the arguments of the prohibitionists a dry country would be nothing short of Utopia. There wasn’t going to be any crime nor any marital difficulties nor were any young girls going to go wrong. It is a merry world, my masters.
It costs so much nowadays to get a house to live in and enough booze for the house warming that there isn’t anything left for furniture.