Dear Farmer Bill—What is the best way to make both ends meet?—Lady de Barbour.

Learn to be a contortionist.

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Dear Captain Billy—What, in your opinion, does love most resemble?—Georgette.

A roast beef sandwich. Two thin slices of sentiment and the rest filled in with bull.

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Dear Captain Billiam—What kind of hand does a card sharper win with?—Pokker Feene.

An I-deal hand.

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