It’s a New One On Us

Elizabeth—Say, daddie, what is that thing under your nose?

Daddie—Why! That’s my mustache. Why do you ask?

Elizabeth—I just wondered what you called it. Mamma’s got one of them things under her arm.

* * *

Dot’s Right

Cohen—Ikey, what for you go up dem shtairs two at a time?

Ikey—To safe my shoes, fader.

Cohen—Dot’s right, my son; but look out you don’t shplit your pandts.