“I hardly ever wear silk ones either.”

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Heard in a Beanery

Waiter—“One stew for a bum! He has his own bread!”

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Our Monthly Special

Ashes to ashes, sand to sand; please show me a butcher that won’t weigh his hand.

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I know a man who refuses to shave until he gets a drink of good liquor. He is now tripping on his beard.