I wish I had taken my mother’s advice, and married a nice little wife,
And settled down in the old home town, to lead an honest life.
My father gave me a fortune, I placed it all in my trunk,
But I lost it all a-gambling, one night while I was drunk.
I’ll never get drunk any more.
And this one:
Wifie says you’re crazy, you’re drunk, you’re blind and can’t see,
That’s nothing but a cabbage head the grocer gave to me.
Now ten thousand miles I’ve traveled, with ten thousand more to go,
But whiskers on a cabbage head I never saw before.