* * *
Blood vs. Hootch
A Scotchman had been presented with a pint flask of rare old Scotch whiskey. He was walking briskly along the road toward home, when along came a Ford which he did not sidestep quite in time. It threw him down and hurt his leg quite badly. He got up and limped down the road. Suddenly he noticed that something warm and wet was trickling down his leg.
“Oh, God,” he groaned, “I hope that’s blood!”
* * *
A Stew’s Lament
“George, I don’t believe you did put the cat out.”
“Well, if you think I’d tell a lie about a little thing like that, go and put her out yourself.”
* * *