He stood it as long as he could, and then said: “Please, God, excuse me while I knock the devil out of Nellie.”

* * *

Objection Sustained

A young lady has written the Navy Department asking that the styles in sailors’ uniforms be changed so that the girls will not be embarrassed.

“Every time I dance with a sailor, his loose, flappy trousers tickle my ankles and make me think my petticoat has fallen,” she complains.

* * *

There Are Others

Here’s to those who’d love us

If we only cared,

Here’s to those we’d love