Here’s to the glass we so love to sip,

It dries many a pensive tear;

’Tis not so sweet as a woman’s lip,

But a danged sight more sincere.

* * *

Perfection at the Start

The first real talking machine, in which no improvement has ever been made, was made out of a rib.

* * *

John Barleycorn may have been officially dead for a number of years, but his funeral expenses still keep piling up.