‘Now, Alfred,’ she continued gravely, ‘I have decidedly made up my mind that it would be better for us both that our engagement should come to an end. If you continue in the life you are leading, I have no hope for your future; but even if you were successful, I could never marry you. Doubtless, you would expect me to mix with your new friends; that I could never do—if they are like what you describe them—and certain unhappiness would be the result. It is well for us both I have come to know this in time.’
This was different sort of talk from what he had come to hear. It was tears and entreaties for their immediate union which he had expected. Still his vanity blinded him to the true import of her words. She had said she never could mix with his new friends; well, it was but proper modesty for her to say that. He would reassure her on that score, and all would be well yet.
‘My dear Nan, I think you are talking a little hastily. No doubt you would feel a little awkward among the London ladies at first, but that would soon pass away. And Mrs Judson promised me to chaperon you a bit, and’——
‘I wish to hear nothing more, sir, about Mrs Judson,’ she answered curtly.
‘Well, Nan, she’s a good friend of yours. I told her all about our little affair. She said of course it would be a great sacrifice on my part; but she applauded my intention of acting honourably towards you, even although you were only an innkeeper’s daughter. Of course, it may be two or three years before I’——
‘Stop!’ she cried, rising to her feet, her lips quivering and her cheeks as pale as death—‘stop, sir! I did not send for you here to insult me. Surely I have spoken plainly enough; but your head is so stuffed with selfish vanity, you cannot comprehend me. Our engagement is at an end. Here are all your letters and presents! You’ll return mine when you get to London.—Now, go!’
As she said the last words, she drew herself up to her full height and pointed to the door. The action was perhaps a little theatrical; but when he looked at her white set face and flashing eyes, he saw plainly enough that she was acting no part. He fancied he had never seen her looking so handsome before; and he felt a sinking at his heart at the thought of having by his foolish letters and talk lost for ever this woman.
‘You—you—are—angry just now, Nan. Do take time to’——
‘Go!’ she repeated firmly, her hand still pointing to the door. Her face was marble in its inflexibility; he knew his doom was sealed. Making a poor show of indifferent self-possession, he rose and quitted the room.
When he was fairly gone, Nan broke down entirely. Shutting herself up in her bedroom, she made use of the safety-valve provided by nature for her sex, and had a thoroughly good cry. Next morning, she was calm and self-possessed, although her eyes were red and heavy looking. Her cherished idol had crumbled into dust; and it became her, she thought, as a prudent damsel to sweep away the smallest trace of it from her heart.