‘Grant, Grant?—Why man!’ said Artemus, ‘you seem to know more strangers than any one I ever saw.’
The man took a walk up the car; coming back, he said: ‘Well, you ignoramus, did you ever hear of Adam?’
The humorist looked up and said: ‘Adam? What was his other name?’
The journey henceforth was made in peace.
Very nicely sold were a couple of tramps who waylaid a wealthy farmer in Louisa County, Iowa, and demanded his money or his life. Disinclined to part with either, he took to his heels. They chased him half a mile down the roughest of lanes, dashed after him through a brier-hedge, and went panting across an old corn-field. Then the chased one struck for the woods, and went wheezing up a steep hill; his pursuers pressing closely behind with blood-shot eyes and shortened breath. The farmer dashed across a forty-acre stubble-field, across a frozen creek, through a blackberry patch, down a ravine, over another hill, across a stump-field, to be run down on the road by the tramps. They overhauled him thoroughly, searched him from top to toe, to find he had not a solitary cent wherewith to reward them for their perseverance.
Our concluding example relates to an affecting romance told by the Detroit Free Press. It was the second time that the hero of the story had accompanied the young lady home from one of those little social parties which are got up to bring fond hearts a step nearer to each other. When they reached the gate, she asked him if he wouldn’t come in. He said he would. Sarah took his hat, told him to sit down, and left the room to remove her things. She was hardly gone before her mother came in, smiled sweetly, and, dropping down beside the young man, said: ‘I always did say that if a poor but respectable young man fell in love with Sarah, he should have my consent. Some mothers would sacrifice their daughters’ happiness for riches, but I am not of that sort.’
The young man started with alarm; he didn’t know whether he liked Sarah or not; he hadn’t dreamed of marriage.
‘She has acknowledged to me that she loves you,’ continued the mother; ‘and whatever is for her happiness is for mine.’
The young man stammered out: ‘I—I haven’t’——
‘Oh, never mind! Make no apology. I know you haven’t much money, but of course you’ll live with me. We’ll take in boarders, and I’ll be bound that we’ll get along all right.’