I have settled myself into a listening attitude; but my friend has suddenly ceased. Looking up, I find my opposite neighbour has just awakened; and his attendant having perhaps no other topic of conversation than his professional experiences, which he no doubt rightly considers an inappropriate subject to discuss before one of his charges, has relapsed to his perusal of The Scotsman, nor do I hear another word from him till he bids me good-day at York.
‘Grantham, Grantham!’
I have been following the example of the generous lunatic, and taking a nap which almost deserves the name of a sleep. I awake to the glorious conviction that I am nearing my journey’s end, and have unconsciously got over about one hundred miles of loneliness. I have still some hours before me yet, however, and seem doomed to perform that part of the journey solus. What shall I do to fill up the time? Happy thought! Smoke! But this is not a smoking compartment, and by-law No. 7 says ‘that any person smoking in any carriage other than a smoking carriage shall be liable to a penalty not exceeding forty shillings.’ Bother by-law No. 7!
I call the guard. The first-class smoking compartment is full. Well, what’s to be done? A small business transaction between the guard and myself; beginning with my hand in my pocket and ending with his in his; and he suggests that as I am all alone and by his favour likely to be so, I may as well smoke where I am. I light up amidst evident preparations for a start, and am quietly settling down to the enjoyment of my cigar when the door hurriedly opens and I have a companion—a man about my own height and age, altogether not very unlike me. (I am of that mediocre mould in which nature has formed so many of my fellow-creatures.)
I am to have a companion after all. Well, so much the better. It will be somebody to talk to and pass the time. I wonder if he is as taciturn as my companions at the outset of the journey. Evidently not; he is recovering his breath after his hurry, and is preparing to address me.
‘I’ll trouble you to put that cigar out, sir! I object to smoke.’
‘But, sir’——
‘Here, guard! Tell this person to put his cigar out at once. This is not a smoking compartment.’
‘Plenty of room in the next carriage, sir. Would you mind stepping in there?’
‘Yes; I would mind. By-law No. 7 says, &c. &c.,’ says my companion, standing blocking up the doorway and arguing with the guard.