Some years ago, there appeared in the English papers an advertisement, which much resembles our notions of an Irish bull, in these words, which are the title to the advertisement:—“Every man his own washer-woman!”
WELSH TOURIST.
A Welsh tourist, among many other judicious observations, remarked that the mad-house of Lanark was in a very crazy state.
THE WORST OF ALL CRIMES.
An old offender being asked, whether he had committed all the crimes laid to his charge? answered,—“I have done still worse—I have suffered myself to be apprehended.”
SELDEN.
When the learned John Selden was a member of the Assembly of Divines at Westminster, who were appointed to new-model religion, he delighted to puzzle them by curious quibbles. Once they were gravely engaged in determining the exact distance between Jerusalem and Jericho; and one of them, to prove it could not be great, observed, “that fish were carried from one place to the other.” On which Selden observed, “Perhaps it was salt fish;” which again threw the Assembly into doubt.
TRADE.
A gentleman passing Milford churchyard a few days since, observing the sexton digging a grave addressed him with—“Well, how goes trade in your line, friend?” “Very dead, sir!” was the reply.
NAUTICAL SERMON.