Some profound financiers tell us, that it is of no consequence to us how much we are taxed, because the taxes raised are not thrown away, but spent among us. We might as well tell the housewife, that when her fagot is burned it is not wasted; it is merely decomposed and sent into the atmosphere, and that it will return in some shape or other: both stories are very philosophical; but the old lady would tell you that she could not replace her fagot without putting her hand into her pocket.
UNEXPECTED INTERPRETATION.
An independent elector of one of the midland counties, when called upon by a young slip of aristocracy, who was canvassing the freeholders, replied, that if the right honourable candidate would engage to bestow on his (the elector’s) second son a situation in his lordship’s gift, in the event of its becoming vacant, the suffrage should certainly be given as solicited. “My dear sir,” was the reply, “I shall be too proud to serve your son.” The scion of the noble house of —— was returned, and the vacancy anticipated by the elector shortly occurred; but his lordship wisely disposed of it to one from whom he had still something to expect. The disappointed voter was exclaiming loudly to one of his acquaintances against this breach of faith on the part of his lordship. “I do not perceive,” answered his friend, “that he has been guilty of any. He told you that he should be too proud to serve your son, and the event has shown that he spoke the truth.”
ONE EXCEPTION.
A disappointed author, indulging in a vein of abuse against a successful rival, exclaimed, “He is, without exception, the most superficial, self-sufficient, ignorant shallow creature that ever made any pretensions to literature.” “Gently, my dear sir,” interrupted a gentleman; “you quite forget yourself.”
GO TO BRIGHTON.
A poor valetudinarian was recommended to take a change of air for the benefit of his health. “Go to Brighton,” said the medical man; “the air of Brighton is very good for pectoral complaints.” “But very bad for pocket complaints, is it not doctor?” replied the invalid.
GIVING THE DEVIL HIS DUE.
Swift, in preaching an assize sermon, was severe upon the lawyers for pleading against their consciences. After dinner, a young counsel said some severe things upon the clergy, and added, that he did not doubt, were the devil to die, a parson might be found to preach his funeral sermon. “Yes,” says Swift, “I would, and would give the devil his due, as I did his children this morning.”