A gentleman in company with Mr. C. Bannister boasted that he had destroyed five hundred men with his own hands. “Sir,” said Charles, “I have killed a few in my time also—let me see: five at Madrid, ten at Lisbon, twenty at Paris, thirty at Vienna, and double the number at the Hague. At length, coming over from Calais to Dover, I had scarce disembarked, when a desperate fellow of an Irishman killed me.” “Killed you!” said Munchausen; “what do you mean by that?” “Sir,” replied the wit, “I did not dispute your veracity, and why should you question mine?”
TAKE ADVICE.
A gentleman who used to frequent the Chapter Coffeehouse, being unwell, thought he might steal an opinion concerning his case; accordingly, one day he took an opportunity of asking Dr. Buchan, who sat in the same box with him, what he should take for such a complaint? “I’ll tell you,” says the doctor—“you should take advice.”
PROOF OF A CIVILIZED COUNTRY.
The writer of a modern book of travels, relating the particulars of his being cast away, thus concludes—“After having walked eleven hours without tracing the print of a human foot, to my great comfort and delight I saw a man hanging upon a gibbet; my pleasure at this cheering prospect was inexpressible, for it convinced me that I was in a civilized country, there being no such thing among savages.”
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LITERAL AND LITERARY.
During the institution of a society in Liverpool for the purpose of literary improvement, a gentleman of strong body but of slender wit applied to be admitted a member; “I think,” said he to the president, “I must certainly be a vast acquisition to a society of this kind, as I am undoubtedly a great man in the literal sense of the word!” “True,” replied the other; “but I am afraid you are but a little man in the literary sense of the word.”
PURE ENGLISH.
The English ambassador demanded of Louis XIV. the liberation of the Protestants who had been condemned to the galleys on account of their religion. “What would the King of Great Britain say if I asked him to liberate the prisoners in Newgate?” “Sire,” replied the ambassador, “the king, my master, would grant your majesty’s request if you reclaimed them as your brethren.”
PROOF OF SANITY.