A bailiff, having been ordered by Lady Hardwick to procure a sow of the breed and size she particularly described to him, came one day into the dining-room, when full of great company, proclaiming with a burst of joy he could not suppress, “I have been at Royston fair, my lady, and got a sow exactly of your ladyship’s size.”
PERFECTION.
A celebrated preacher having remarked in a sermon that every thing made by God was perfect, “What think you of me?” said a deformed man in a pew beneath, who arose from his seat, and pointed at his own back. “Think of you,” reiterated the preacher; “why, that you are the most perfect hunchback my eyes ever beheld.”
RECOVERY OF A SPENDTHRIFT.
A nobleman, whose son was a hard drinker, and had been cutting down all the trees upon his estate, inquired of Charles Townshend, who had just returned from a visit to him, “Well, Charles, how does my graceless dog of a son go on?” “Why, I should think, my lord,” said Charles, “he is on the recovery, as I left him drinking the woods.”
CLERICAL PREFERMENT.
Among the daily inquiries after the health of an aged Bishop of Durham, during his indisposition, no one was more sedulously punctual than the Bishop of ——, and the invalid seemed to think that other motives than those of anxious kindness might contribute to this solicitude. One morning he ordered the messenger to be shewn into his room, and thus addressed him:—“Be so good as present my compliments to my Lord Bishop, and tell him that I am better—much better; but that the Bishop of Winchester has got a sore throat, arising from a bad cold, if that will do.”
STATE AFFAIRS.
A coach containing four members of parliament was overturned in the Strand. A countryman passing inquired who were the unfortunate persons; and being told, “Oh, let them lie,” cried he, “my father advised me not to meddle with state affairs.”
CHARLES II.