An old gentleman having fallen sound asleep at the fireside was awakened suddenly by the clatter of the fire-irons all tumbling down, and immediately exclaimed, “What! going to bed without one kiss,” thinking it was the children.
THE POOR AUTHOR AND HIS PUBLISHER.
A poor author received an account from his publisher among the items of which was, “Cellarage, £3 10s. 6d.” He naturally concluded that this was a charge for the trouble of selling the 700 copies which formed the edition, but on further enquiry learned that it was the charge for cellar-room, as not a copy had stirred from thence.
DONELLY, THE CHAMPION.
Donelly, the famous Irish champion, had a great fight on at the Curragh. Miss Kelly, a young lady of fine behaviour, had followed him thither, and had wagered her gold watch and chain and her coach and four that he would win. At one time Donelly was getting the worst of it when she exclaimed, “Oh, Donelly, would you have me go back on foot and not know the hour?” on which he rallied and won.
NOVEL WAY TO AVOID PAYING A DEBT.
During the French war, Mr. Pitt was informed by a person named Forth that there were two persons on their way from the north of Europe to assassinate him. Measures were accordingly taken to track their progress, they were seized at Brussells and lay in confinement there for a long time. It afterwards came to be known that instead of being assassins, they were creditors of Forth’s, who were on their way to have him arrested for a large sum, and he took this method to get quit of them.
PAGANINI.
Tom Moore who was present at an opera in London where Paganini performed, writes thus:—“Paganini abuses his powers; he could play divinely, and does sometimes, for a minute or two, but then comes his surprises and his tricks, his bow in convulsions, and his inharmonics like the mewlings of an expiring cat.”
EPITAPH.