A country cousin used sometimes to visit Sydney Smith—a simple, warm-hearted rustic. It was his custom occasionally to have some of his friends to supper, and on their arrival she would come to him and whisper, “Now Sydney, I know that these are all remarkable men, do tell me who they are?” “Oh, yes,” said he, laughing. “That is Hannibal,” pointing to Mr. Whishaw, “he lost his leg in the Carthagenian war; and that is Socrates,” pointing to Luttrell; “and that is Solon,” pointing to Horner. The girl opened her ears, eyes, and mouth with admiration, yet half believing that Sydney was making fun of her.
SCOTTISH METAPHYSICS.
The Scottish people are thought to be so imbued with metaphysics, that even in love the passion discovers itself. On one occasion at a ball, Sydney Smith overheard a young lady of his acquaintance, in a pause in the music, remark to her partner, “What you say, my lord, is very true in the abstract, but——” here the fiddlers began, and the rest was lost.
DESIRE TO ROAST A QUAKER.
Sydney Smith confessed to a friend that he had one little weakness—one secret wish—“he should like to roast a Quaker.” “Good heavens, no, Smith!” said his friend full of horror, “roast a Quaker?” “Yes, sir” (with the greatest gravity), “roast a Quaker!” “But do you consider, sir, the torture?” “Yes, I have considered everything; it may be wrong, as you say; the Quaker would undoubtedly suffer acutely, I have striven against the taste in vain, one would satisfy me—only one!”
MASTER DOMINIQUE.
A gentleman called Tenant was a favourite in London society early in this century, the mysteries of whose menage often afforded amusement to his friends. He lived in a small lodging, and his establishment was confined to an old black servant called Dominique, who tyrannised over him. He was overheard one morning calling from his bed, “Dominique! Dominique!” but no Dominique appeared. “Why don’t you bring me my stockings, Dominique?” “Can’t come, Massa.” “Why can’t you come, Dominique?” “Can’t come, Massa, I am dronke.”
APPROPRIATE ANSWERS.