Parson Paten was so much averse to the Athanasian Creed that he would never read it. Archbishop Secker having been informed of his recusancy, sent the archdeacon to ask him his reason:—“I do not believe it,” said the priest. “But your metropolitan does,” replied the archdeacon. “It may be so,” rejoined Mr. Paten, “and he can well afford it; he believes at the rate of seven thousand a year, and I only at that of fifty pounds.”
SCRIPTURE AUTHORITY.
A quaker married a woman of the Church of England. After the ceremony, the vicar asked for his fees, which he said were a crown. The quaker, astonished at the demand, said, if he would show him any text in the Scripture which proved his fees were a crown, he would give it unto him: upon which the vicar directly turned to the twelfth chapter of Proverbs, verse 4th, where it is said, “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.” “Thou art right,” replied the quaker, “in thy assertion; Solomon was a wise man; here are the five twelvepenny pieces, and something beside to buy thee a pair of gloves.”
MEANING OF THE VERB “TO DOCTOR.”
A physician being out a-shooting one whole morning without killing any thing, his servant begged leave to go over into the next field, for he was sure there was some birds there; “and,” adds the man, “if there are, I’ll doctor them.” “Doctor them,” says the master, “what do you mean by that?” “Why, kill them, sir.”
CHARLES II. AND DR. BUSBY.
King Charles II., on a certain time, paying a visit to Dr. Busby, the doctor strutted through his school with his hat on his head, while his majesty walked complacently behind him, with his own hat under his arm; but when he was taking his leave at the door, the doctor, with great humility, thus addressed the king: “I hope your majesty will excuse my want of respect hitherto; but if my boys were to imagine there was a greater man in the kingdom than myself, I should never be able to rule them.”
MOUNTAIN ANECDOTE.
A party had once climbed a considerable way up the usual track on the side of the Skiddaw, when a gentleman (a stranger to the rest of the company) who had given frequent broad hints of his being a man of superior knowledge, said to the guide, “Pray, what is the highest part of this mountain?” “The top, sir,” replied the guide.
LONG BIT.