A great crowd being gathered about a poor cobbler, who had just died in the street, a man asked Alexander Stevens “What was to be seen?” “Oh!” replied he, “only a cobbler’s end.”
MORE THAN I CAN SWALLOW.
An illustrious person told Mr. D——, of C——, that he had drunk two bottles of champagne and six of port. “That,” said Mr. D——, “is more than I can swallow;” and if the wit was relished, it was never forgiven.
GIVING UP THE GHOST.
A player performing the Ghost in Hamlet very badly, was hissed; after bearing it a good while, he put the audience in good humour by stepping forward and saying, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am extremely sorry that my humble endeavours to please are unsuccessful; but if you are not satisfied, I must give up the Ghost.”
A DEAR WIFE, INDEED.
A gentleman just married telling Foote he had that morning laid out three thousand pounds in jewels for his dear wife. “She is truly your dear wife,” replied the wit.
NO VOICE IN THE CITY.
A gentleman passing the evening among some friends in the city, was requested, in his turn, to favour the company with a song; he politely declined it, alleging that he was so indifferent a performer, that any attempt of his would rather disgust than entertain. One of the company, however, asserted that he had a very good voice, and said, he had frequently had the pleasure of hearing him sing. “That may be,” resumed the other, “but as I am not a freeman, I have no voice in the city.”
SUCH SPARKS AS YOU.