A NEW CHARACTER.
A late Duke of Norfolk was much addicted to the bottle. On a masquerade night he asked Foote what new character he should go in. “Go sober!” said Foote.
THE TRAGIC BARBER.
A hair-dresser, in a considerable town, made an unsuccessful attempt in tragedy. To silence an abundant hissing he stepped forward and delivered the following speech: “Ladies and gentlemen: yesterday I dressed you; to-night I ADdress you; and to-morrow, if you please, I will REdress you. While there is virtue in powder, pomatum, and horse-tails, I find it easier to make an actor than to be one. Vive la bagatelle! I hope I shall yet shine in the part of a beau, though I have not the felicity of pleasing you in the character of an emperor.”
JOHN TAYLOR.
This author had the merit of interrupting the servile etiquette of kneeling to the king. “I myself,” says the water poet, “gave a book to King James once, in the great chamber at Whitehall, as his majesty came from the chapel. The Duke of Richmond said merrily to me:—‘Taylor, where did you learn the manners to give the king a book and not kneel?’ ‘My lord,’ said I, ‘if it please your grace, I do give now; but when I beg anything, then I will kneel.’”
SAILOR’S OPINION OF PRAYING.
Two boys, belonging to the chaplains of two different men-of-war, entertaining each other with an account of their respective manners of living, “How often, Jack,” says one of them, “do you go to prayers?” “We only pray,” replied Jack, “when we are afraid of a storm, or are going to fight.” “Ay,” says the former, “there’s some sense in that; but my master makes us go to prayers when there’s no more occasion for it than for me to jump into the sea.”
A TRIFLER.