Tempus abire tibi est.”
“Pray, Sir Robert,” says one of his friends, “is that good Latin?” “Why, I think so—what objections have you to it?” “Why,” says the other drily, “I did not know but that the word might be bribe-isti in your Horace.”
PUNNING COMPETITION.
George IV., when Prince of Wales, and Charles Fox, one day enjoying a ride in the neighbourhood of Brighton, laid bets which of them should make the worst pun on the first subjects they met. Immediately after, meeting a man carrying a dead hare over his shoulder, Fox (who was to make the first essay of his wit) accosted him thus: “Friend, is that your own hare, or a wig?” Riding a little farther on, they came up with two men, one of whom held a snuff-box in his hand. “So, friend,” said the Prince, “I see you are a snuffer.” “Yes, sir,” replied the man. “And are you a snuffer also?” says he to the other man. “I am, please your honour.” “Well, then, you are a pair of snuffers.” Fox gained the bet.
NAVAL PUN.
A gentleman inquiring of a naval officer why sailors generally take off their shirts on going into action, was answered, that “they were unwilling to have any check to fighting.”
FALSE REPORT.
A gentleman meeting an old friend, whom he had not seen for a long time, congratulated him on lately coming to the possession of a large landed estate. “There was such a report,” replied the other; “but, if you will believe me, it was quite groundless.”
DIVERTING VAGABOND.
Mossop, the player, always spoke in heroics. A cobbler in Dublin, who once brought home his boots, refused to leave them without the money. Mossop came in whilst he was disputing, and, looking sternly, exclaimed, “Tell me, are you the noted cobbler I have often heard of?” “Yes,” says the fellow, “and I think you the diverting vagabond I have often seen.”