RESULT OF A QUARREL.
A vicar and curate of a village, where there was to be a burial, were at variance. The vicar not coming in time, the curate began the service, and was reading the words, “I am the resurrection,” when the vicar arrived almost out of breath, and snatching the book out of the curate’s hand, with great scorn, cried, “You the resurrection? I am the resurrection:” and then went on.
WELSH GENEALOGIES.
Sir Watkins William Wynne, talking to a friend about the antiquity of his family, which he carried up to Noah, was told that he was a mere mushroom. “Ay,” said he, “how so, pray?” “Why,” replied the other, “when I was in Wales, a pedigree of a particular family was shewn to me; it filled above five large skins of parchment, and about the middle of it was a note in the margin:—About this time the world was created.”
A TAR’S EXPEDIENT.
Sir John Jervis’s crew had been paid off at Plymouth, and the ship put in dock; but immediately after, the Admiral received an order to refit for sea. Walking one day in the neighbourhood of Plymouth, he encountered a sailor with a lass under his arm, and a dog running before him, with a watch round his neck. Jack saluted his commander, and made Poll and the dog do the same. Sir John then asked him if he would go to sea with him again, stating the orders he had received. Jack inquired the period Sir John was given to refit. “Only a fortnight,” was the answer. “That’s unfortunate,” said Jack, “for I’ve been kalkylating, your honour, that, with Poll, and the dog, and the watch, my money will jist last me a month; howsomever, I can do this ’ere, your honour—(aside)—I can keep two marms, two dogs, and two watches; and then I shall have unloaded the shiners in a fortnight, sure enough!”
NO DEEP PLAY.
Lord O——, saying that he made a point of never playing beyond the line of his own understanding “Now, my lord,” said the Countess of Buckinghamshire, “I see the reason you never play deep.”
PHILOLOGY.