During the time of her slow and partial recovery she occupied herself with learning hymns. She laid up a store which became in later months a great source of comfort to her. The hymn which she first committed to memory was one of her chief favourites:—
"A mind at perfect peace with God."
The second verse she specially valued:—
"By nature and by practice far,
How very far from God;
Yet now by grace brought nigh to Him,
Through faith in Jesus' blood."
As we have said recovery was only slow and partial. She tried to learn the lesson designed in this lengthening out of her earthly sojourn. "I thought my life was spared," she said, "to give the opportunity of devoting for a longer period my influence and substance to the cause of Christ, but I see now a deeper meaning in it. There is more personal holiness to be attained, more nearness to Christ, and more joy hereafter through a deeper work here in my heart."
Her old habit of early rising had of course to be abandoned. But the hours of the early morning were well spent, especially in meditation and intercessory prayer. As an example of the things that occupied her mind, we may quote words spoken to her maid as she entered the room: "I awoke very early this morning, and have been very happy and busily engaged. My thoughts have been much occupied with three things all so different, yet each needing God's help to-day. The first is the Queen's visit to Aberdeen to inaugurate the Prince Consort's memorial; the second is Mr. M.'s prayer meeting in London in a hall that had been a dancing-saloon in his parish; and (referring to a young man formerly in her service, but then studying for the ministry) the third is John's College examination."
At the end of 1863 the duchess expressed a strong wish that the ministerial conference at Huntly Lodge should be resumed. A meeting was held on the 13th of the following January. As she heard what had transpired she remarked, "I liked the meeting, and had only one thing to find fault with: some of the gentlemen prayed for me as if I was something, and I am nothing. I must speak about that before the next meeting." She invited all to meet again on the 10th of the following month. She little thought that they would indeed meet on that day, but only to lay her remains to rest. The 10th of February was to be her funeral day.
The fatal illness was of very short duration, and gave her little opportunity of thought. She was sorrowing over her inability to think when the words were given to her: "I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh upon me." "Yes, that's it," was her reply; "In Thy strong arms I lay me down." She was quoting from the following hymn, which she frequently repeated to her friends, and which she said more than any other expressed the present state of her feelings:—
"I only enter on the rest,
Obtained by labour done;
I only claim the victory
By Him so dearly won.
And, Lord, I seek a holy rest,
A victory over sin;
I seek that Thou alone should'st reign
O'er all, without, within.