"At any rate, my good Mrs. Mashum, you cannot arrest me for incendiary attempts; I have made such laudable exertions to put out the flames in the house."
Impudent fellow! I had a mind to say something about the blaze on his own head; but I forbore, passing on in offended silence.
Now, my dear Mr. Godey, set a good example, and lead the way in a reform of these abuses, as you have in so many other praiseworthy undertakings. Frown upon these April fooleries, especially as levelled at the peace and quiet of respectable single women. If my letter is too late to take effect this present season, please give it due notice before a twelvemonth hence. You will thus oblige and gratify your friend and constant reader,
ABIGAIL SNIPE.
Postscript. I shall go home to-morrow, and finish Holton Sparks's last new shirt in the pleasant seclusion afforded by my own hearthstone. I cannot endure the thought of sitting at the table in this house any longer, opposite that dreadful O'Killigan, hearing him crack his dry jokes while he rubs his chin with his thumb and forefinger. To be obliged to listen when he comments on the mishaps of this evening would surely set me into a nervous fit. It strikes me that I have read in one of Sam's old books—"Sal" somebody's writings—of an elderly lady who "died of a Frenchman." If I were to stay here much longer, I should assuredly die of this middle-aged Irishman.
Depend upon it, I shall not breathe a word to Sam of my trials at Sophy's boarding-house, in consequence of the inmates all making fools of themselves and me on the FIRST OF APRIL.
INTELLECTUAL ENDOWMENTS OF CHILDREN.
AN extremely intelligent boy, of about twelve years of age, was once brought to the late Dr. Deville, an English phrenologist, for examination, by a parent who was very proud of the intellectual endowments of his child. Dr. Deville gave his opinion of the boy's character, at the same time cautioning the father of the dangerous course he was pursuing. But the father's reply was, "All that other boys considered labor and hard study were merely child's play to him; and that his studies could not be hurtful to him—he enjoyed them so much." Again Dr. Deville endeavored to save the child, but the father would not attend to the warning. Two years from that time he again called on Dr. Deville, and, in reply to his inquiries about the child, burst into tears, and stated that the boy was an idiot.