—A correspondent wants to know if "fits are hereditary." Any small boy, compelled to wear out his father's old clothes, could tell him they are not.
—There are many shoots in a park of artillery.
—"What are you doing?" demanded a furniture dealer of his clerk, who upset an extension table.
"I'm only turning over a leaf, sir."
TWO KINDS OF HIDING.
—City Dame (in the country): "Boy, can't you get me some cat-tails?"
Country Boy: "Yes'm. Long ones?"
City Dame: "Oh, long or short, whichever are the prettier!"
Boy: "Well, mum, I guess I'd better just bring you the cats, an' you can cut the tails off to suit yourself."
—A Mean Swindle. —Mistress: "Did you ask for milk bread?"
Domestic: "Yes, mum."
"What a miserable little loaf they gave you!"
"Yes, mum. It's my opinion, mum, that that baker is using condensed milk."
—"What's the matter with you to-day, Tommy? You seem to be uneasy."
"I am," said the bad little boy. "Yesterday was pa's and ma's wooden wedding, and all the neighbors sent 'em shingles."
—A square meal generally costs a round price.
—The pupil of the eye is incessantly lashed.