“You’re all right, mister,” said the porter. “Your ticket allows you to stop off.”
Still Hopeful
“Well, Jimmy,” said his employer, “I don’t see how you are going to get out to any ball-games this season; your grandmother died four times last summer.”
“Oh, yes, I can, sir,” answered Jimmy. “Grandpapa has married again, although it was very much against the wishes of the family.”
He Thought She Ought to Know It
“No, I haven’t anything for you today. You are the man I gave some pie to a fortnight ago?”
“Yis, lidy, thank you; I come back because I thought p’r’aps you’d like to know I’m able to get about again.”
A Possible Substitute
“What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?” asked the customer of the new grocery clerk.
“Nothing but bananas, ma’am,” was the reply.