A young English laborer went to the register’s office to record his father’s death. The register asked the date of death.
“Well, father ain’t dead yet,” was the reply; “but he will be dead before morning, and I thought it would save me another trip if you would put it down now.”
“Oh, that won’t do at all,” said the register. “Why, your father may be well before morning.”
“Ah, no, he won’t,” said the young laborer. “Our doctor says he won’t, and he knows what he’s given father.”
What He Used the Milk For
A clergyman had been for some time displeased with the quality of milk served him. At length he determined to remonstrate with his milkman for supplying such weak stuff. He began mildly:
“I’ve been wanting to see you in regard to the quality of milk with which you are serving me.”
“Yes, sir,” uneasily answered the tradesman.
“I only wanted to say,” continued the minister, “that I use the milk for drinking purposes exclusively, and not for christening.”