“No,” he sneered, “I won’t tell you. If I did you’d repeat it. You women can never keep a secret.”
“John,” said the woman quietly, “have I ever told the secret about the solitaire engagement ring you gave me eighteen years ago being paste?”
Necessity: Not Choice
A woman hurried up to a policeman at the corner of Twenty-third Street in New York City.
“Does this crosstown car take you down to the Bridge toward Brooklyn?” she demanded.
“Why, madam,” returned the policeman, “do you want to go to Brooklyn?”
“No, I don’t want to” the woman replied, “but I have to.”
Mr. Beecher’s Prescription
A country clergyman once called on Mr. Beecher and asked his advice about what to do with persons who go to sleep in church.
“Well,” said Mr. Beecher, “I’ll tell you what I do. When I first came to Plymouth Church I gave the sexton strict orders that if he saw any person asleep in my congregation he should go straight to the pulpit and wake up the minister.”