“No, sir,” answered the man with considerable warmth; “I’ve been sick for three months: that’s what makes me look that way!”
What She Would Like
A little girl stood in a city meat-market waiting for some one to attend to her wants. Finally the proprietor was at liberty, approached her and said benignantly, “Is there anything you would like, little girl?”
“Oh, yes, sir, please: I want a diamond ring, and a seal-skin sacque, a real foreign nobleman, and a pug dog, and a box at the opera, and, oh, ever so many other things; but all Ma wants is ten cents’ worth of bologna.”
The Highest Price in the Store
A rich American woman visited a Japanese art shop in Paris. It happened to be a dull, dark afternoon. She looked at the bronzes, jewels, drawings and other things, and finally, pointing toward a dusky corner, she said to the polite young salesman: “How much is that Japanese idol over there worth?”
The salesman bowed, and answered: “About five hundred thousand francs, madam. It is the proprietor.”
From Different Points
“Father, you were born in California, you say?”
“Yes, my son.”