“I hov not, yer Honor.”

The Judge looked sternly at the applicant, and asked:

“Well, what have you read?”

Patrick hesitated but the fraction of a second before replying:

“I hov red hairs on me neck, yer Honor.”

Apostle and Epistle

A man riding through the mountains of Tennessee stopped one evening to water his horse before a little cabin, outside of which sat an old colored woman watching the antics of a couple of piccaninnies playing near by.

“Good-evening, Aunty,” he called. “Cute pair of boys you’ve got. Your children?”

“Laws-a-massy! Mah chillun! ’Deed, dem’s mah daughteh’s chilluns. Come hyah, you boys.”

As the boys obeyed the summons the man inquired their names.