A prominent physician, whose specialty was physical diagnosis, required his patients, before entering his private consultation-room, to divest themselves of all superfluous clothing in order to save time. One day a man presented himself without having complied with this requirement.
“Why do you come in here without complying with my rules?” demanded the doctor. “Just step into that side room and remove your clothing and then I’ll see you. Next patient, please!”
The man did as requested, and after a time presented himself in regular order duly divested of his clothing.
“Now,” said the doctor, “what can I do for you?”
“I just called,” replied the man, “to collect that tailoring bill which you owe us.”
Anxious About Him
One winter’s day a very bowlegged tramp called at a home in Ontario and stood to warm himself by the kitchen stove. A little boy in the home surveyed him carefully for some minutes, then finally approaching him, he said: “Say, mister, you better stand back; you’re warping!”
The Only Way He Could Help
Chief Justice Matthews, while presiding over the Supreme Court at Washington, took the several Justices of the Court for a run down Chesapeake Bay. A stiff wind sprang up, and Justice Gray was getting decidedly the worst of it. As he leaned over the rail in great distress, Chief Justice Matthews touched him on the shoulder and said in a tone of deepest sympathy: “Is there anything I can do for you, Gray?”
“No, thank you,” returned the sick Justice, “unless your Honor can overrule this motion.”