Some time after the marriage he spoke of the tomato-soup accident.
“I shall never forget it,” said the bride.
“Your conduct,” said the man, “was admirable.”
“I remember,” she said, “that I did behave very well at the time; but I wish you could have seen the marks of my teeth on the bedpost that night.”
Necessity and Invention
A mother with her seven children started away on a journey. After entering the car the largest child was laid out flat on the seat, and the remaining six then sat upon him in a row.
When the conductor came around to collect the fares the mother counted her money, handed it over, smiled, and suavely said: “Sir, the oldest is under six.”
Taking No Chances
An epileptic dropped in a fit on the streets of Boston not long ago, and was taken to a hospital. Upon removing his coat there was found pinned to his waistcoat a slip of paper on which was written:
“This is to inform the house-surgeon that this is just a case of plain fit: not appendicitis. My appendix has already been removed twice.”