“Why, sir,” said the private, “after rubbin’ him and scrubbin’ him till our arms ached I’ll be hanged if we didn’t come to another suit of clothes.”
Once Dead Always Dead
The hero of the play, after putting up a stiff fight with the villain, had died to slow music, says a storyteller in “The Chicago Tribune.”
The audience insisted on his coming before the curtain.
He refused to appear.
But the audience still insisted.
Then the manager, a gentleman with a strong accent, came to the front.
“Ladies an’ gintlemen,” he said, “the carpse thanks ye kindly, but he says he’s dead, an’ he’s goin’ to stay dead.”
Had to Get it Done Somehow
A little boy bustled into a grocery one day with a memorandum in his hand.