“Mercy,” exclaimed a woman—“the burglar’s legs?”

“No, my dear, my husband’s legs. He had heard the noise, too.”

Didn’t Think He Was Polite

They were on their honeymoon. He had bought a catboat and had taken her out to show her how well he could handle a boat, putting her to tend the sheet. A puff of wind came, and he shouted in no uncertain tones:

“Let go the sheet.”

No response.

Then again:

“Let go that sheet, quick.”

Still no movement. A few minutes after, when both were clinging to the bottom of the overturned boat, he said:

“Why didn’t you let go that sheet when I told you to, dear?”