One on the President
When the President alighted at Red Hill, Virginia, a few months ago, to see his wife’s new cottage, he noticed that an elderly woman was about to board the train, and, with his usual courtesy, he rushed forward to assist her. That done, he grasped her hand and gave it an “executive shake.” This was going too far, and the woman, snatching her hand away and eying him wrathfully, exclaimed: “Young man, I don’t know who you are, and I don’t care a cent; but I must say you are the freshest somebody I’ve ever seen in these parts.”
No Doubt of it
The lesson was from the “Prodigal Son,” and the Sunday-school teacher was dwelling on the character of the elder brother. “But amidst all the rejoicing,” he said, “there was one to whom the preparation of the feast brought no joy, to whom the prodigal’s return gave no pleasure, but only bitterness; one who did not approve of the feast being held, and had no wish to attend it. Now can any of you tell who this was?” There was a short silence, followed by a vigorous cracking of thumbs, and then from a dozen little mouths came the chorus: “Please, sir, it was the fatted calf.”
The Lesson Stopped
The teacher was taking a class in the infant Sabbath-school room and was making her pupils finish each sentence to show that they understood her.
“The idol had eyes,” the teacher said, “but it could not——”
“See,” cried the children.
“It had ears, but it could not——”
“Hear,” was the answer.