“Don’t know?” she replied. “Why don’t you know? It’s your business to know. You haven’t touched him or untied him?”
“No; we didn’t touch or untie him, and that’s just it. You tied him to a trunk checked for two stations back. The trunk had to be put off, and so we threw the dog off with the trunk!”
Not the Kind She Wanted
“Which way, please, to the corset department?” she asked of the floor-walker.
“Straight back, madam.”
“No, not straight back,” was the reply. “I want a straight front.”
His Last Request
JUDGE (to prisoner just condemned to death): “You have the legal right to express a last wish, and if it is possible it will be granted,”
PRISONER (a barber): “I should like just once more to be allowed to shave the District Attorney.”