“You probably will, dear,” interrupted his wife encouragingly. “That’s the way all the ocean travelers do.”
Definitive
The schoolmaster was trying to explain the meaning of the word “conceited,” which had occurred in the course of the reading lesson. “Now, boys,” he said, “suppose that I was always boasting of my learning—that I knew a good deal o’ Latin, for instance, or that my personal appearance was—that I was very good-looking, y’ know—what should you say I was?”
Straightforward Boy: “Sure, sir, I’d say you was a liar, sir!”
Wanted to Give Her Every Chance
The clerk was most obliging, but the young woman customer was hard to please. Roll after roll of blankets did he patiently take down and show to her; nothing suited.
For some fifteen minutes this mock sale went on, then the young woman said condescendingly, “Well, I don’t intend to buy. I was just looking for a friend.”
“Wait a moment, madam,” cried the clerk. “There is one more blanket left on the shelf. Maybe you will find your friend in it.”
Murder Will Out
The newly-graduated daughter who had decided to become an artist had returned to her Boston home. “I am glad that your mind has taken a turn toward art, for you know that more is expected of you now than if you lived in Chicago,” said her proud parent.