But although he may do something here with his opera-glass, the great place for his triumphs with that instrument is at a Hayes or Lind concert at the “Musical Fund Hall.” It is one of the most confirmed tests of the merits of an exquisite, that his sight is not good. There are unfortunates who are not fops, to whom Heaven has been pleased to assign but a limited scope of vision—it therefore does not follow that every short-sighted person is a dandy, but e converso, as the lawyers say, every dandy is indubitably short-sighted. The malady has become epidemic within a few years, and an exquisite would not be admitted into society without this optical certificate of his worthiness. To prove his title he relies upon an eye-glass which hangs by a cord or chain from his button-hole, and whenever there is aught to be seen he inspects it with nose bestrid with these queer-looking aids to the eye. The failing has advanced gradually until confirmed myopia has become alarmingly prevalent, and the number and appearance of adventitious helps to the vision has so increased that the fashionable preparations for a concert or opera now-a-days are formidable. A quizzing-glass in times gone by was an offensive ostentation. It made no odds if the possessor was as blind as a brick wall without windows, he was sneered at, and liable to continual insult if he dared to endeavor to put himself upon an optical par with other people; but by degrees this prejudice was done away with, and as the rights of seeing advanced the necessity became apparent. Double-glasses for each eye succeeded the old quizzers—then the single-barrel diminutive spy-glass was brought forth with fear and trembling. It lived down opposition, and was succeeded by larger instruments of the same pattern. At length small double-barreled opera-glasses, with handles, were seen in the first circles—they were permitted, and since that time lorgnettes have been growing bigger and bigger until they look like awful monsters, all eyes, which by unhappy fate have been linked together, Cyclopean Siamese twins.
But this is a visionary digression—we must go back to the dandies at fashionable concerts. Here he amuses himself by scanning the faces of the performers and persons near him. As soon as the intermission commences the fop rises, and distrusting his sight altogether, relies upon his lorgnette for a proper view of the lady who sat next to him during the first part of the performance. His fellow dandies imitate him, and the fair and confused object of short-sighted devotion is made the centre for the focus of fifty opera-glasses, raised without blushing by as many asses, who believe that they are acting quite genteelly.
Having got through with this ceremony, and having heard the Hayes entirely through the programme, the buck repairs to “Guys” or “Pelletiers,” and eats or drinks whatever his rich acquaintances request and pay for. After a time he returns to his room in the fifth story, goes to bed and snores until eleven next morning, when the servant enters to awaken him to another day of similar events.
STANZAS.
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BY SARAH HELEN WHITMAN.
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Tell him I lingered alone on the shore,